All the deaths of family friends are starting to weigh so heavily on me.
I found out today that 2 of my close friends lost a family member this week.
These 2 friends were my heroes for years, they were like sisters to me.
The family members that died both were always so kind and caring to me.
The news broke me.
I just broke down in tears.
I cried and cried till I couldn’t breathe, got my inhaler and cried more.
It hurts
It really does.
To my friends around the world losing family to this virus. I am sorry. I want to be there for everyone but I can’t. I am praying and grieving as I see your posts about deaths in the family.
I am trying to stay strong.
The death toll in NY is at 4,000 and it hit me like a ton of bricks today. It hurts so much.
Pls be gentle with me. Be gentle with everyone. Be kind.
~~~~
later that day….
Its hard to stay focused when grief keeps hitting me.
I am trying to see good in all this.
Like how a friend sent money to another friend in need today.
Like how my nephew who has been having developmental delays walked today with no outside help for the first time.
Like how my sister started a group for people to say prayers and psalms for the sick when my father went to the hospital a few weeks ago, how the group grew and added many names to the description and now has finished saying the psalms 54 times.
Like how music and beautiful photography can calm and nourish my soul.
Like how a bird made its nest near my porch and its babies sing early in the morning near my window.
I have allot to be thankful for.
I need to focus on the good even though the world feels so dark. I will feel my feelings. The good and the bad.
Peace and love
(Picture above is from my Australia trip)
Pen Loves Poetry 